My husband and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary recently. Five years in the school of love has merited some sharing on what I’ve learned.. and what I’m still learning.
1. Suffering together is a surprisingly effective way to grow closer (try juggling multiple crying babies/toddlers night after night for months/years)
2. Structure and family routines are difficult to start and maintain, but they will eventually happen if we try (how did our parents make it look effortless?)
3. Pregnancy, postpartum and small babies (three in five years) are DIFFICULT (more than I realized) but so so worth it.
4. Shared little pleasures (like morning coffee and The Office) are twice as sweet with a beloved spouse
5. You start becoming like your spouse if you spend a lot of time together and are open to each other (so choose well)
6. Flexibility, empathy and kindness are unbelievably important in a marriage (rigidity and impatience with weakness are love-killers)
7. Having similar attitudes about parenting is helpful (gentle/respectful parenting proponents here)
8. Being quick to admit faults and mistakes can defuse many fights, which means letting go of the addictive need to always be right
9. A shared faith and beliefs makes decisions and even sacrifices easier (like accepting and caring for three children, deciding to move in with in laws to help care for them, etc)
10. Five years is nothing. We’re just beginning. We have a lot to learn and a long way to go. But we believe God will help us if we allow Him to.
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If you haven’t read it yet, check out my book about how I met my spouse at the age of 32- Let God Surprise You